Mmmm... Beginning to realise that if I'm to get any peace round here I need to regain the right to my own midlife crisis - I thought I was being supportive by listening ... but now I realise I am just encouraging hers to gain more momentum and .... Heavens above !! ..... Distract me from my own - dagnamit !!
I have earned this middle-aged 'yard-time' - I've been carefully, studiously, boorishly serious for many a year; I've been messed up stressed up and kept schtupp too ..... It's not as if I make anyone watch me having mine- in fact I 'do' midlife very subtley. It's pleasant.
I simply cannot allow her crisis to ruin mine; oh the mojo of midlife crisis.... So what can I do ?
It's not like I want a sports car or an affair, or penis enlargement surgery.
But it's mine and I want it as it is, not bent out of shape around someone who, I strongly suspect, just doesn't like her job, ....that's not a real, proper dilemma, c'mon ?!!
(joking)
Wishing you all plenty of space to direct your own personal search for true bliss or just a weeny bit of peace and quiet. Just so long as you don't wreck other's in the process !
...So tread softly in this process, offer tolerance, and treat other's dreams as you would have them treat your own. But don't ever, ever, subjugate your own.
There isn't time to wait !!!
;@)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday 17 December 2009
Wednesday 16 December 2009
Snowy Hash-taggy & The Carol of the Bells
Brrrrrrrrrrrr ! - it's cold now but I wanted to relate my weekend's high spot to you -
Last Saturday
DG away for loooooooong w/end - in exotic location made miserable apparently by being work conference based.
Missing each other as v rare intimacy had returned briefly, so both a bit sad. Oh dear. Love you miss you xx.
But (woop woop) - it fruitfully chucked up the opportunity to examine navel, drink tea in bed & allow the kids to be kids, hurrah !!
(... ever read The Idle Parent, any of you ?)
I thus decided we could all lie in, eat what we want, do what we want and when we want. For one day. No harm in that surely ?
Hey - we had a projected 7:30 a.m. start on the Sunday to deal with so what the heck !? No guilt here surely !
So .... what's sooooooo special about that ? Ok, let's sell it to you .....
Here are my first tweets that morning as I lay in bed, toes wriggling beneath the duvet, actually tingling with joy at not rushing around - toes really are mood-barometers aren't they ? - ever seen what toes do when their owner comes ?!! Ahem ...
Tweet One - "Today I am going to avoid helicopter parenting - it just breeds adults that need micromanaging! Let kids be kids whilst they still have time"
ta dah !
and upon unrelated sweet but humorous suggestion to race off and do something else deliciously exciting and very dreamy ... (from @VenaRamphal Passion Coach, whom everyone should follow on Twitter.com and at http://www.venaramphal.com/)
Tweet Two - "...if only ! - home-alone-dad this weekend, only plans are chilling with my children ... Loose but lovely plans !"
Curious parent-type friends scanning twitter notice this and quickly do the maths ..... now I was inundated with requests for specifics from them - was I, for instance, going to do junk modelling with the children ? Make sculptures from papier-mache ?
errr .. No !
Next - Was I going to ' _ _ _ _ _ ' with them ?
And there you should insert name of any activity that if described at a coffee morning would allow for all upstanding parental types to grasp exactly the positive educational nature of the event and nod sagely whilst saying something like.....
"Lovely, yes we went there/did that/intend to do that last week/this week/all the time")
No ! No ! No !
The best parenting advice I have ever heard - that I recognise as having been successfully applied to my childhood - is from the book "The Idle Parent"
It's a quote from an eminent thinker whose name escapes and is not important but
Rule 1. Leave the child alone
Rule 2. LEAVE the child alone !
Rule 3. LEAVE THE CHILD ALONE !!!
(I got to run across fields with our terrier and pals, five-go-mad style, build catapults crossbows and go-karts, catch tiddlers, and generally learn how to be an independent creative thinker - Now where is the smug emoticon when you need it !!)
Yes - for a few minutes you may hear "I'm bored" or if the child has already had too much helicopter-parenting, "I want to go to '_ _ _ _ _ _' ..."
(tends to be some place that sells biscuits, that get used to bribe said 'engaged' but increasingly tetchy child whilst at a museum/other worthy activity - they are not stupid and know how to play the game!).
Any way - back to the scene - Saturday morning, my two get on with it like hamsters let on their wheel for the first time - lovely, happy, giggling, playful children.
I receive even more tweets from jealous parent friends who have their day mapped out ..........
Daddy's toes dance the morning away .......
Big big bliss,
Bye bye
x
Last Saturday
DG away for loooooooong w/end - in exotic location made miserable apparently by being work conference based.
Missing each other as v rare intimacy had returned briefly, so both a bit sad. Oh dear. Love you miss you xx.
But (woop woop) - it fruitfully chucked up the opportunity to examine navel, drink tea in bed & allow the kids to be kids, hurrah !!
(... ever read The Idle Parent, any of you ?)
I thus decided we could all lie in, eat what we want, do what we want and when we want. For one day. No harm in that surely ?
Hey - we had a projected 7:30 a.m. start on the Sunday to deal with so what the heck !? No guilt here surely !
So .... what's sooooooo special about that ? Ok, let's sell it to you .....
Here are my first tweets that morning as I lay in bed, toes wriggling beneath the duvet, actually tingling with joy at not rushing around - toes really are mood-barometers aren't they ? - ever seen what toes do when their owner comes ?!! Ahem ...
Tweet One - "Today I am going to avoid helicopter parenting - it just breeds adults that need micromanaging! Let kids be kids whilst they still have time"
ta dah !
and upon unrelated sweet but humorous suggestion to race off and do something else deliciously exciting and very dreamy ... (from @VenaRamphal Passion Coach, whom everyone should follow on Twitter.com and at http://www.venaramphal.com/)
Tweet Two - "...if only ! - home-alone-dad this weekend, only plans are chilling with my children ... Loose but lovely plans !"
Curious parent-type friends scanning twitter notice this and quickly do the maths ..... now I was inundated with requests for specifics from them - was I, for instance, going to do junk modelling with the children ? Make sculptures from papier-mache ?
errr .. No !
Next - Was I going to ' _ _ _ _ _ ' with them ?
And there you should insert name of any activity that if described at a coffee morning would allow for all upstanding parental types to grasp exactly the positive educational nature of the event and nod sagely whilst saying something like.....
"Lovely, yes we went there/did that/intend to do that last week/this week/all the time")
No ! No ! No !
The best parenting advice I have ever heard - that I recognise as having been successfully applied to my childhood - is from the book "The Idle Parent"
It's a quote from an eminent thinker whose name escapes and is not important but
Rule 1. Leave the child alone
Rule 2. LEAVE the child alone !
Rule 3. LEAVE THE CHILD ALONE !!!
(I got to run across fields with our terrier and pals, five-go-mad style, build catapults crossbows and go-karts, catch tiddlers, and generally learn how to be an independent creative thinker - Now where is the smug emoticon when you need it !!)
Yes - for a few minutes you may hear "I'm bored" or if the child has already had too much helicopter-parenting, "I want to go to '_ _ _ _ _ _' ..."
(tends to be some place that sells biscuits, that get used to bribe said 'engaged' but increasingly tetchy child whilst at a museum/other worthy activity - they are not stupid and know how to play the game!).
Any way - back to the scene - Saturday morning, my two get on with it like hamsters let on their wheel for the first time - lovely, happy, giggling, playful children.
I receive even more tweets from jealous parent friends who have their day mapped out ..........
Daddy's toes dance the morning away .......
Big big bliss,
Bye bye
x
Friday 4 December 2009
A change is in the wind ....
Winter brings such lovely urges to cuddle up, hibernate, settle in, stock up.
And sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Yum.
But once I am properly rested I cannot wait to see and throw some snow, cook 'homely' recipes with the kids, get a tree, etc..
Contemplating the new year ahead hasn't even begun as the old is still here to be savored. I like that kind of thing ...... it's so easy....
The sweetest warmest moments get fractured though with my DD's newest hilarious observation - that a carrier bag with a hole in it and two oranges and one banana (poking out of said hole, all very specifically arranged, and described with hand gesticulations) apparently would look like male genitalia (she's 7 years old - should I book her a shrink now ?) ........ very concerned at this new-age lad'ette-ishness, yet also VERY glad she had the sense to whisper this at the Christmas Fair rather than yell it out !
Ah well - I can inflict my own sense of humour back on them when I force them to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with me, cuddled up on the sofa ! ..... They'll tolerate this; because there will be snacks !
... tis the season to be jolly ;?))
Recipes as well as comments please ...... especially those involving chorizo (I bought too much, at too good a price not to).
tralalah,
AO
And sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Yum.
But once I am properly rested I cannot wait to see and throw some snow, cook 'homely' recipes with the kids, get a tree, etc..
Contemplating the new year ahead hasn't even begun as the old is still here to be savored. I like that kind of thing ...... it's so easy....
The sweetest warmest moments get fractured though with my DD's newest hilarious observation - that a carrier bag with a hole in it and two oranges and one banana (poking out of said hole, all very specifically arranged, and described with hand gesticulations) apparently would look like male genitalia (she's 7 years old - should I book her a shrink now ?) ........ very concerned at this new-age lad'ette-ishness, yet also VERY glad she had the sense to whisper this at the Christmas Fair rather than yell it out !
Ah well - I can inflict my own sense of humour back on them when I force them to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with me, cuddled up on the sofa ! ..... They'll tolerate this; because there will be snacks !
... tis the season to be jolly ;?))
Recipes as well as comments please ...... especially those involving chorizo (I bought too much, at too good a price not to).
tralalah,
AO
Thursday 26 November 2009
2007 archives "The Past - a note ..."
This is an addendum to the archives of 2007.
If you happen to go back through the archives there is some whingeing and whining and not particularly attractive descriptions of my beloved partner's failings or my reactions (at the time I felt let down, as I am sure many mum's/women homemakers have at one point or another).
Her 'unreconstructed female misogynist behavior' is frequently brought up (it's a new, messy definition so there isn't a simple term yet, e.g. like 'pig' for men). We had two children a year apart - of course we were at each other's throats. She hit a mid-life crisis and career burn-out. I grew to hate the drudgery. Neither of us will ever be perfect (this blog would be a typed-out equivalent of a box-set of Enya CD's if we were) and if tired parenthood has brought me one bad thing, it is an unfortunate lack of tolerance .... I hate dealing with someone else's crap, but I'm working on it !
However, my angry grimace may be a permanent feature - the wind changed direction as I was pulling this face, so maybe we'll just have to get used to that. Grrrr....
Subsequently, at times I have felt like editing these 'yukky' bits out to make this all tamer, sweeter and more 'lovely', but it is in the past now, and actually happened. So it stays. I'd advise you don't read it if you're squeamish, and as it has been there for over two years, comments will be noted but I've moved on so please don't expect a dogfight.
So, if you are a woman reading the archives, especially one who has experienced abuse or just lack of support at the hands of the men in their relationships, then I would urge you to try and swap the 'male' for 'female' positions in those blog archives before flaming me. At the time offence was not my intention; a cry for empathy (at the injustice of it all) was. There are many worse forms of abuse, and I am not trying to equate my suffering to them. And if you do swap 'male' for 'female' you may just find it describes a classic 1950's Americana relationship ..... how amusingly retro ?!?
Later Peoples !
Andy O
If you happen to go back through the archives there is some whingeing and whining and not particularly attractive descriptions of my beloved partner's failings or my reactions (at the time I felt let down, as I am sure many mum's/women homemakers have at one point or another).
Her 'unreconstructed female misogynist behavior' is frequently brought up (it's a new, messy definition so there isn't a simple term yet, e.g. like 'pig' for men). We had two children a year apart - of course we were at each other's throats. She hit a mid-life crisis and career burn-out. I grew to hate the drudgery. Neither of us will ever be perfect (this blog would be a typed-out equivalent of a box-set of Enya CD's if we were) and if tired parenthood has brought me one bad thing, it is an unfortunate lack of tolerance .... I hate dealing with someone else's crap, but I'm working on it !
However, my angry grimace may be a permanent feature - the wind changed direction as I was pulling this face, so maybe we'll just have to get used to that. Grrrr....
Subsequently, at times I have felt like editing these 'yukky' bits out to make this all tamer, sweeter and more 'lovely', but it is in the past now, and actually happened. So it stays. I'd advise you don't read it if you're squeamish, and as it has been there for over two years, comments will be noted but I've moved on so please don't expect a dogfight.
So, if you are a woman reading the archives, especially one who has experienced abuse or just lack of support at the hands of the men in their relationships, then I would urge you to try and swap the 'male' for 'female' positions in those blog archives before flaming me. At the time offence was not my intention; a cry for empathy (at the injustice of it all) was. There are many worse forms of abuse, and I am not trying to equate my suffering to them. And if you do swap 'male' for 'female' you may just find it describes a classic 1950's Americana relationship ..... how amusingly retro ?!?
Later Peoples !
Andy O
Wednesday 25 November 2009
My changed life !
Getting so much fun out of my jailbroken iPhone and Twitter - all of a sudden my life is complete !
Gadgets I cannot do without indeedy.
Twitter dials up such delights as virtual spiritual companionship and helpful technical advice at the drop of a few characters ... Even locally
And jb'd iPhone so way, WAY more useful /applicable in my day to day techiness. Bring on the blackra1n (sic) everytime !
No it doesn't make toast but it brings me into contact with the world's loveliest and brightest sparks even over edge networks and services my every mobile IT need .... Easier to read than my pals' netbooks and much more portable and more battery life.
[Interesting to feel something so warm and human married so well with cold technology, but it definitely has put a spring in my step.]
Why not join me..........
Bye for now!
Andy O
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Gadgets I cannot do without indeedy.
Twitter dials up such delights as virtual spiritual companionship and helpful technical advice at the drop of a few characters ... Even locally
And jb'd iPhone so way, WAY more useful /applicable in my day to day techiness. Bring on the blackra1n (sic) everytime !
No it doesn't make toast but it brings me into contact with the world's loveliest and brightest sparks even over edge networks and services my every mobile IT need .... Easier to read than my pals' netbooks and much more portable and more battery life.
[Interesting to feel something so warm and human married so well with cold technology, but it definitely has put a spring in my step.]
Why not join me..........
Bye for now!
Andy O
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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